I love birthdays! When I say love, I looooooove birthdays! It is something so amazing about the newness of turning another year older. It’s a time to reflect on the years passed and the lessons learned. It’s another opportunity to fulfill desires unmet. My 26th birthday, I had recently ended a relationship and was in the process of purchasing my own home. I wanted to commemorate the year with an event. So, I organized a party for me. People often aren’t celebrated, and they should be! And by people, I mean SINGLE people with no children. The moment someone is engaged or expecting, they get 500 plus likes on social media. But, y’all ain’t checking for my ladies night, tho’?
So why wait for the wedding or babyshower?!?! Consequently, from that year on, I organized a party for every birthday.
This past birthday, however, was a bit different...
Nikki’s amazing and wonderful husband and I have birthdays (born the same year) that are days apart...well 11 months apart. So, when she announced to the besties that she was planning a surprise party for his 35th birthday, it dawned on me that I too would be turning 35 this year. 35?!!? Like, really?!?! Where did the time go? What have I been doing for the past 10 years? At 25, I decided that I would give myself to the age of 35 to get married, have kids, get a big ol’ house, and push a Benz. I even went as far as making a pact with Tahlee to start freezing my eggs and ish! So this news from Nikki meant I had less than 365 days to meet a good man, get married, get pregnant, save enough money to purchase a mansion and car!! What?!?! One year to change my title from “maid” to “matron’, “auntie” to “mommy”, “Miss” to “Mrs.” WTF?!! How would I be able to squeeze all my 35th year promises in one year! So, I took a breath…then, I realized some things.
Aging is a BEAUTIFUL process!
One that humbles and enables you to reflect on the ever changing seasons (nothing like a gray hair in places you never thought they’d grow to let you know it’s real). At the very same time, age empowers you to live fearlessly and without apology. As I reflect on turning 35, I am grateful. It sounds so cliche’ , but it’s so effing true! Every mistake, every challenge, every triumph has gotten me to this point. Stronger, better, wiser, and more ready for the next journey that will surely come. Just wait on it...no! Scratch that! Don’t wait...live! Live the moment! Be present! Show up, and show out, knowing that you are where you are for a divine reason. And that marriage and kids are great (absolutely wonderful), but not having them (yet) is not the end of the world. And there are surely some married with kids folk that would kill to have your life...Trust! It’s all relative, so don’t beat yourself up! The person that determines the importance of my current life position is ME!! So get yourself a big ol’ permanent marker (one of those ol’ school Sanford king-sized ones you use to sniff) and DAB on ‘em!
Not Married. DAB!
No Kids. DAB!
Effing Fantastic. DAB!
People who I love, and who love me! DAB!
Conquering fears daily. DAB!
Alive and well at 34 (and 9 months). DAB!
One time for 35!!
Love without FEAR,