#SquadGoals is a common hashtag that floats in various social media circles. On Instagram alone, it trends in the millions. So, since we talkin’ TEAMS…let’s talk teams. In a lot of senses, you are the people you surround yourself with. The elders would say, “birds of a feather flock together.” Their habits become your habits. The energy, the goals, and the mindset of your squad is often shared…whether you realize it or not. A strong squad can set you up personally and professionally. In thinking of my own squad, I am beyond grateful to be surrounded by amazing women. They have motivated me in accomplishing my goals, provided a shoulder to cry on, and been a full participant in the necessary turn-up session. In seeing their influence in my own life, I recognize the power in joining extraordinary forces to create a movement, or even accomplish a goal (like starting a dope blog called Besties and Brunch).
Now, in some cases, squads are developed unintentionally when like-minded people join, often because of the place they are in life. You might have a squad from college, or a work squad. In those cases, the choice of squad members often makes itself. But, there are opportunities to be more intentional. In growing and learning, I understand the importance of mindfully choosing a versatile squad. The different attributes within my squads have been integral, each playing a very unique role in my life. Having a well-rounded group is key. They all don’t have to be friends with each other. The shape of your squad(s) is completely up to you! You can have various circles, or kill it as a squad of two…trust! So, what are #squadgoals ? I have compiled a checklist of traits that will help you build (or assess) your squad.
1. The Same Laner. This squad member is KEY! You need someone in your life that is WHERE you are in life. If you are single with no kids, you need a friend that is single with no kids. If you are managing a husband and kids, you need someone that is also there. This friend is so important because they will be able to directly relate to what you are currently experiencing. I love my married with kids boos (I truly do), but they are removed from some of my present experiences…and I can’t personally relate to all of theirs. So, being able to share time with my same lane squad gets me exactly what I need at times. Not to mention, my married with kids friends can NOT just get up and go to the lounge or movies at the drop of a hat (no shade…again, love y’all!).
2. The Where I Want to Be. To quote the 1999 hit by Donnell Jones, you need a squad member that is where you are trying to go. You want to be happily married; you need some happily married friends. You want to lose weight; you need some fit freaks in your squad. You want to have your shit together in your 40s; you need some 40-something boos with their shit together. Just from their daily actions alone, this friend will inspire you and educate you on how to reach your goals.
3. The Goal Digger. The goal digger, the go-getter, is a necessity! This friend has a hustler spirit, PERIOD! They know the moves to make, the places to be, the people to connect with. Beyond the endless amounts of resources this friend can provide, they will consistently motivate you to step your game up!
4. The Yes (Wo)Man. Now, this one might come with some controversy, but it's my post, so I’m gonna write it ‘cause I want to!! The “Yes” Squaddie is going to always find the silver lining. They will always have the word of encouragement or the dose of love and light needed, regardless of the circumstances. Not so much because they condone your decision, but more so to let you know they support you, even in your foolishness.
5. The Straight Talk, No Chaser. Balance is key, y’all! In the same way you need someone that will support you regardless, you need someone that will tell you your shit stinks (if it indeed stinks). This person will serve you a warm piece of humble pie by telling you the truth, even if it hurts your feelings.
6. The Ride or Die. This squad member is an amendment to the Yes (Wo)Man. They need their own shout out, because they will say yes to things that even the yes squaddie may say no to…like the occasional drive-by!! They will hold your hair when you’ve drank too much, or cuss a mofo out!
7. The Trap Queen. This squaddie is all about the turn up! Now, you may need to monitor your time with her…I mean, we aren’t teens anymore. But every now and again you need to let loose, and this friend’s got you! They know the places to go. They have the hook up on the club or lounge. They know how to get it in! They remind you to not take this life thing so seriously, and have good time!!
Did you see your squad on this list? If not, know that you can always restructure. Some members may need to be added, and some may need to go…but that’s another blog post!
What are your #squadgoals? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
Love WITHOUT Fear,