Hey y’all! It is almost the most wonderful time of the year, so I want to give you some tips on how to not get cussed out. Ok? Ok, good. With the holidays, come family gatherings and an opportunity for us to see how blessed we are and have been all year long. It also brings out the dummy in a lot of people too. So here are 5 helpful holiday etiquette tips for you. These are not your standard tips of “take off your shoes at the door” but if there is snow you better damn well take off your shoes. These are tips for when I host the holidays at my home that I have in my head, but now I am saying them out loud. My house, my rules. So here they are:
1. If you cannot cook. Don’t. Please. I beg you. Instead of coming with a dish that will have folks scrambling for the bathroom, consider bringing liquor. There is always more room for extra libations! And don’t take your leftover liquor with you when you leave El Cheapo. That is a gift that remains with the home for hosting you.
2. If I invite you to my home, there is a 99.9999999% chance that I have invited you and the ones you love to celebrate with us. If I did not say, “Be sure to tell Kim to come” then guess what??? That means Kim ain’t invited. Don’t just show up with extra people. I have painstakingly considered the number of people, the amount of food, sitting space and so on. Please respect my invite and the thought I have put into the day.
3. For all the third platers. You know – the ones who eat twice and then try to sneak to pack up a third plate for later. Do not. I repeat DO NOT pack a to-go plate until everyone has already enjoyed their first plate. Geez us. Who raised you, greedy?
4. My kids are at the age where they love to have people over. They are cute and people often want a hug or something of the sort. Listen here. Do not force any type of affection on my kids. Not these two. If they want to give you a hug, kiss, high five, or whatever - they will. If they do not, I will not make them. We have to allow kids to own what they want to do with their bodies within reason. To do that, I allow them to make those decisions. Hell, Elle (my 3 year old) is not a fan of lip kisses and will politely turn my head, my husband’s and her brother’s head to the side to kiss our cheeks. (I feel like she is trying to shade me but that is another story for another day lol).
5. LEAVE! If the party starts at 3pm, chances are I want everyone out by 8pm at the latest. There is cleaning that needs to be done, kids that need to be settled, and a snuggle or two waiting on me from the hubby. So thank you for coming but it is time for you to go.
What are some of your nontraditional holiday etiquette tips? Please share them because I may want to steal them too!