FEAR. It can paralyze you, keeping you from your destiny without you even knowing. For a long time, I saw fear as an emotion that kept me safe. Growing up, it shielded me from dangers seen and unseen. I followed the rules and beliefs expected of me because I was afraid of their consequences. As I grew, I found myself looking to others' advice for serious life choices. College major, where to travel, and who to befriend were some of the decisions that were influenced by what other people felt I should do. I couldn't see it then, but fear of failure shaped me. I found myself in a box that other people designed for me. And what's crazy, I didn't even know it. I lived day in and out as a spectator, just going through the motions, never really getting anywhere. Finding happiness and untapped potential was something that happened to other people. Even when friends would remind me of my inner greatness, I'd just shrugged it off as them being nice. I hadn't quite figured it out yet, but it was fear that kept me from truly living.
Recently, I read You're a Bad Ass by Jen Sincero (great read!). She has a chapter on fear where she states: "Fear lives in the future. The feeling of being afraid is real, but the fear itself is all made up because it hasn’t even happened yet.” We think of all the possible pits and falls, when there is no guarantee that any of those things will actually happen. Moreover, even if all those worries actually happened, we very well might be able to handle them. I began to think about my life differently. Why not take that new business venture? Why not take that second date? I might love it, I might hate it. But making the choice and taking the steps means I am in the game, living for me, and stepping closer to my own greatness.
So, what’s on the other side of fear….FAITH!
The awesome part that I’m learning about fear (no, not a FEAR pro, yet guys!) is I decide what side I’m on. Decisions that I think are a sure win, I make with no apprehension. In those moments, I am exercising faith. I can exercise that same faith with fearful decisions. Recognize that fear is real but not forever or more powerful than you. I can think back to when I first started driving. I was so afraid, but that fear didn’t last. And now, even with some fender benders under my belt, I jump into my car with no problem. All things in due time…trust the process. Then, choose and move! You can move forward with fear present! So, get in the game. You will slowly find confidence, living the life you chose for yourself. More important than success or failure, the adventure makes life worth living.
What are your fears? How do you work to get to the other side? I'd love to hear!!
Love Without Fear,