This past weekend I had the honor of participating in my very first bestie’s wedding, my first cousin, Jessica (if you are reading this Jessica, I am still on a high from your weekend of “good food, folks, and fun”). As everyone was gathered to celebrate and share in their glorious union, several family and friends asked me that infamous question:
“When will we be coming to your wedding?”
Uumm, really? This is not MY day! Focus on the bride for goodness sake! But, it got me thinking. There are very common statements that a non-married girl of a certain age (read my scary age post if you want to know my age) often encounters. And typically it comes from married people. And I get it! People mean well…they truly do. They want the best for you, but it doesn’t change the unstated fact that people feel privy to the single’s life. They want to fix you…undo your plague of singleness. How dare you be unmarried and ok with it?!?!
Here are a few questions/statements I’ve heard through the years:
“See. That’s why you’re single.” Oh, ok. So, you have always been perfect and without flaws. And the moment that I stop shopping (or whatever other random thing that explains why I am not married) someone will get on their knees and extend a proposal to me, right? Got it!
“You must have so much time on your hands.” BREAKING NEWS AMERICA: Single people have lives! While I do not have a husband (yet), I have plenty of things to occupy my time! I could list the countless activities that fill my daily day, but that doesn’t matter. The point is life can be just as full rather you have a husband and children in it or not. (Sidenote: not everyone with a husband and children has a full life. #noshade #notea)
“I have the perfect person for you.” Lawd! I really appreciate you looking out for me. I do. Really. Buuuuutttt! Meeting men is not a problem for MOST singles. Now, if you could step in and make my relationship last, you might be working with something.
“You are just too picky.” Sooooo, you want me to lower my standards?? Ok.
“Why aren’t you married?” If I had the answer to that question, I probably would be married. But the greater point is why is it assumed that I am not perfectly happy with my life exactly the way it is. I am not married for the very same reason you ARE married…it works for you.
This journey called life is different for each person. No one’s story will be exactly alike. Some will marry, some won’t. And some times it takes a little longer to get to the altar. Either way, this girl is enjoying the ride!
Has this ever happened to you? Can you relate? What are your thoughts? I would love to hear from you!
Love Without Fear,