Oh Nancy! You know Nancy. She’s the one at work, at the family Sunday dinner, or at brunch with the besties that finds something wrong with the slightest of things. She begins and ends every conversation with some undesirable (and often unnecessary) commentary, some soliloquy of the horrible happenings in her life that seems to occur daily. Even in the best of moods, you leave her feeling depleted of all positive energy. Unknowingly, Nancy can rob you of all your joy and good vibes.
Sidebar: If you don’t have a Nancy in your life…Nancy might be you.
Many would say that you shouldn’t deal with Nancy. Her energy is consistently toxic. Fire her! Be done with the relationship. In some instances, this advice might be effective. After all, not all relationships are meant to last forever. But some “Nancy”s can’t be divorced. You may work for a Nancy, and not be in the best position to quit your job. Nancy might be a family member that you interact with often. Or, Nancy could be a bestie, whose relationship you would like to preserve. So then what? Here are some quick tips that will hopefully help:
1. Love WITH a limit. Mary J. Blige’s 1992 jam would encourage you otherwise, but Nancy needs boundaries! Limit your conversations with her, especially when it begins to take a turn for the worse. Don’t engage in her negativity. Keeping the interactions short and not often (if possible) will put all that destructive juju where it belongs…with her. Hopefully, it will also send the message of “good vibes only”.
2. Choose your mood. This will be hard! I would be lying if I told you I’ve got this one down. Negative Nancy is a pro at altering your mood. Most times, it’s her ultimate goal! (Misery is ALWAYS looking for company.) Fight against it! Before contact, tell yourself, “I am going to be positive regardless of whatever happens around me.” You are in control of you. Don’t make Nancy’s problems your own.
3. Lead with Love. Energy (both positive and negative) is truly contagious!! So, spread positivity. Smile! Compliment! Be a “HUG DEALER”!
Make it impossible for Nancy (or anyone else for that matter) to leave your presence without feeling better about life. Nancy won’t know what hit her! She’ll be so busy smiling that she’ll forget whatever negative thing she was going to say (hopefully)!
Do you know a Negative Nancy? How do handle her/him?
Love Without Fear,