By Eboni Elise
I have a few friends who are first time moms and they often ask me questions about my experience or just need a listening ear when they vent. There is so much I feel like people did not share when I was preparing for mommyhood. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the joy of having this new being around you. And it is amazing! But let me be real for a sec and help my sistas out. Here are some things you’ll soon realize…
1. You will NEVER sleep in again!
Long gone are the days where I can party all night with my friends and sleep in on a Saturday. Baby says, “Hell to the naw naw.”
2. Going to the bathroom solo is a no go.
As soon as my child started crawling, he’s been like a shadow. You can forget about pissing in peace for the next couple of years.
3. Your house will probably never be pristinely clean.
This was a difficult one for me to realize. Every time my baby boy took a nap, I didn’t know what to do with myself (should I eat, take a shower, sleep or clean?) I was too busy trying to dust, clean shelves, or pick up clothes off the floor. Let’s just say I learn quickly and the only clean rooms you’ll see are the ones guest will be in – aka the living room, kitchen and bathrooms. I’m liable to have a clean, shiny floor but have an avalanche of clothes fall on you if you open the wrong closet.
4. You learn to tune out the noise but your child-free friends don’t.
There were a few times when I was on the phone or talking to a guest and my bouncing toddler is joyfully screaming or wailing loud enough to crack a window because he can’t get his way. I’ve gotten the side eye look that says, “Aren’t you going to do something about your kid?” Me: Oh, girl he’s okay.
5. Mommy guilt loves to sneak up on you.
Especially when you see those stylish pair of fringe booties on sale with your name written all over it. I start calculating how many boxes of diapers the price equals to and those shoes are back on the sale rack.
6. Two minute phone calls will be your new normal.
I haven’t had one phone conversation without yelling “Put that down!” or “Don’t do that!” and “Get down from there!” To the caller: “Girl, I gotta go. Just text me.”
Be ready to be called 100 times in 100 seconds.
8. Expect people to offer their UNsolicited advice.
Moms seems to think just because you’re new at this means that you don’t know how to do things correctly. So not true! Take what will work for you and ignore the rest. You must do what works best for your family. Just because Aunt Bertha insists her sleep remedy of adding cough syrup to the baby’s bottle worked 40 years ago, doesn’t mean it’s safe to give your child now.
9. There’s no manual to this!
It’s all trial and error. But that’s the joy of being a new parent. No one is perfect! Trust that your mommy instinct will guide the way. That’s why you have it!
10. Being a Mom is THE BEST THING EVER!
Seriously. All of the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and tantrums are so worth it. Being a parent is the hardest but greatest job ever! And I LOVE every minute of it.
What are some things that you realized after you entered "mommyhood"?