Style: What's Under Your Dress

 

I’m mad at myself.  I have been telling myself to write this for a couple of months now. My initial goal was to share this as one of my first blog post in the spring but.... Well. Yea. That did not happen. So here we are close to the end of summer and I am pleading with some of you to think about one thing.  Well, one thing for now.  What is that one thing? Undergarments.  Yea, some don’t appreciate the undergarment enough.  I get it.  It’s hot so naturally we want to wear less.  In real life, the undergarment is your homie.  Particularly those of us that want to smooth out and suck in some key areas.  I say “us” because I wear “them” (code for shapewear) whenever I am in something fitted.  Check out my little black dress post here.  

I grew up in a family with women that were more voluptuous.  Ok, damn it, we were meaty.  In highschool I hit my peak weight - 226 lbs!  I will never forget it.  I went to the doctor for my annual physical before my junior year of highschool and the scale yelled “Bish, get off me!” While the doctor said words like “Obese, unhealthy, concerned and in a nutshell, do better.” My mom wore a fully lined girdle every.fucking.day.  Everyday, b. Never skipped a beat.  I would see her hauling ass to the bathroom, only to get there and dance a jig while working to unhinge the 931 hooks on her girdle.  I said, “I ain’t never wearing one of those thangs, like ever.”  There was some truth to that.  Girdles have come a loooooong way so I will NEVER wear one that comes equipped with 931 hooks, a defibrillator, an oxygen tank, and an instruction manual.  I don’t have the time or the patience or the answers Sway.  Actually I do have the answers.  Shapewear.  I heart a good undergarment that sucks you in, pokes the rear out, and is seamless so lines don’t show through clothing.  Each one I'm sharing with you today enhances your curves and can give you the perfect hourglass shape! I’m muddafuggin tied of the loose bellies, dents, and jiggle that take over the streets during the summer.  Here are some options to pull all of that and more (like the back flab) together.

  • Mid thigh high waist shaper is a great way to slim down the thigh area and flatten out the tummy.  I mean, that sounds like a double win to me!  Soma has a great option for under $50.  Make that a triple win bishes! Word to the wise, find a brand with silicon around the waist band to reduce the chance of having rogue shapewear that rolls down and just undermines its whole purpose.  

 

Click here to purchase.  

 

  • The full body shaper with tank is great for smoothing out the thigh, stomach, and back area.  Hell, it does it all!  What makes it even more awesome is that it does not roll down like our high waist friend.  The shoulder straps keep it in place while also allowing for you to wear your favorite bra.  I have found that shapewear with built in bras either smother your boobs to death or create Madonna’s infamous cone boobs.  So…. opt for your own bra.  The one shown here retails for about $85. Sidenote: I think it is pretty fugging stupid to use skinny models when marketing shapewear.  I don’t think women on the thinner side are driving sales….  I know they wear them but most want to see how it slims down certain areas.  #RantOver

 

Click here to purchase.  

  • Thong shapewear focuses on stomach control.  Shit, there isn’t much else that can be controlled when wearing a thong.  This option is under $40!  

 

Click here to purchase.

I like that shapewear is meant to enhance your features.  Let’s be honest it will not take away all of your concerns but it will help to reduce some of them.  I will say shapewear isn’t all fun and games.  So, listen to me.  If you don’t take anything else away from this post today at least take this - PUH.LEEEEZZZZE.  Do NOT, I repeat do NOT put on lotion and then attempt to put on your shapewear.  You will throw your damn back out, rupture a blood vessel, and maybe a bit of flatulence too.  Put on your shapewear and then moisturize your skin. Thank me later.

What other tips do you have? Also share your favorite shapewear and brands below. We want to know the deets!