By Eboni Elise
I love it when one of my friends meets a guy, they hit it off, start to date and it turns into something serious. Sometimes I get a bit nosey and ask, “Do you love him?” or “How does he feel about you?” Now, if they reply “I think so” or “I’m not sure.” That may be a red flag.
This post is for my ladies who have doubt stirring through their minds about how their significant other feels about them. Yes, I’m offering my unsolicited advice but you’re here so just keep reading.
I’ll just cut to the chase…If you EVER have to question how a man feels about you, he’s NOT the one. When it comes to truly loving someone, it’s either a yes or no. POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. There’s no in-between. No gray area. No scratching your head, pondering over it like you’re trying to figure out a cure for Ebola.
I know how it feels to be in a “situationship” where your heart is like crap because you aren’t certain if the person you love so much feels the same about you. You find yourself doing some of the dumbest ish you probably would never do just to prove your love. In the end, you still are left wondering if you’re enough. Girl! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the key chain and I’m not going back!
We all have different love languages or how we show our love (side bar: if you don’t know what your love language is, you can take a quiz or read 5 Love Languages) but the one simple thing about love is knowing that it exists in your relationship. When it comes to my husband, I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me. Not because he says it (words of affirmation are not my love language) but because he shows it through his actions every day. If a man loves you, he will go out of his way to make sure you are ok. He may think about your comfort before he thinks about himself. He’ll treat you the same in front of his friends and family as he does when you are behind closed doors. He is honest and cares about your feelings. He respects you as his significant other. If it don’t feel like After 7’s Ready or Not (my fav old school R & B love song) or Tony, Toni, Tone’s Whatever You Want then it ain’t hitting it. Lol! I could go on and on.
If you find yourself in this predicament where your boo has left you unsure, outright clueless, or ashamed to say that he loves you and cannot state his intention with you, then it’s time to move on. Yes, it’s easier said than done but know this - You are worth having someone who loves you without a doubt. You are worth someone who has no qualms about expressing their love to you, whatever their love language.
Real love is possible. It won’t cause you to wonder, you won’t have to walk over hot lava with gas feet to get it or ever write “it’s complicated” in your relationship status on Facebook. You are worthy of love! And it ain’t no doubt about it.