By Eboni Elise
I’m not your superwoman…and I‘m not talking about the Karen White version. I don’t know who woke up and deemed women as the ones to be EVERYTHING to EVERYBODY. Or do we do this to ourselves?
Juggling motherhood, marriage, a full-time job, blogging and having somewhat of a social life is getting to be a bit much. The crazy thing is that I want to be great at it all! It's what I've always dreamed of - the perfect life. But is it really possible?
I confess, I suffer from Superwoman Syndrome!
What is the superwoman syndrome, you ask? It's when women strive to accomplish everything in a perfect manner. It’s like crack to an overachiever like me. Every day, I grab my coffee and cape, get in my power stance and turn on Beyonce’ as I prepare to slay whatever comes my way. After working 10 hour days, I run home to make dinner, squeeze in playtime with my toddler, put him to bed, write or post on social media, spend time with my husband, etc. By the time I can even think about quiet for myself, I'm waking up to an alarm clock to do it all over again.
Well, Superwoman is depleted. My hair is disheveled, the S is hanging from my chest, and I’m on the verge of collapsing.
The crazy thing is, part of me enjoys swooping in to save the day. I transform into Olivia Pope and say “It’s handled.” I twirl into Wonder Woman and get shit done. It’s what I’ve learned to but by sundown I’ve turned into Cruella Deville. This superwoman syndrome leaves me burnt out, especially when the pressure is too much.
In this day and age, women have so much opportunity to be great. Tons more than generations before us. We're successfully running our own businesses, are educated, holding leadership positions and creating our own pathways! But it all comes at a sacrifice. I still have a desire to be great and I’m going to continue to strive for that. I just need to be more realistic.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
There’s only so much time and energy I can provide to everyone and everything I love. Something has to give. I MUST shake this superwoman expectation of myself. Having it all is possible, just not all at the same time.
Today I'm hanging up my cape. Superwoman is going on strike! (at least long enough for me to rejuvenate so that I can conquer another day. I’m taking baby steps). Are you with me ladies? Well first, there’s some kryptonite that needs to destroyed:
1. Comparing Ourselves to Others- Our addiction to social media is part of the blame. We constantly see images of people that “appear” to have it all together - a beautiful family, great body and perfectly decorated house that could be on HGTV. And I’ll be honest, sometimes I can’t help but to want it too. In reality, a lot of folks are putting on a show and I’m here for the entertainment (Lol). There is so much behind the filters, angles, and crops that tells the truth of a broken relationship or debt up to the ceiling trying to keep up with the Joneses’. Girl,bye. I’ll be happy with what I have!
2. Striving for Perfection - It may bother me when I can’t go the extra mile to accomplish a goal or fix a situation. To fight this, it’s important to know that what matters most. All you can do is do your best with what you have. That’s enough! It’s not necessary to be perfect. No one is. Give it to God and go to sleep! (Read, My Confession: I Battle With Anxiety)
3. People Pleasing – Worrying about what others think of us if we tell them no or do the wrong thing is officially being thrown out the window. There’s so much freedom in letting that go! Putting other’s needs before our own leaves no time to recharge or focus on things that should be a priority. It’s ok to be selfish. Make “me” time a priority. If we can't take care of ourselves, we won’t be able to be the best for those who really matter.
Are you suffering from the superwoman syndrome? What would you add to this list? Share your thoughts in the comments below.