By Eboni Elise
All things come to an end at some point - a job, a friendship, relationship, etc. Business doesn’t work out, people grow apart or move in two different directions. That’s life. But the struggle comes when you don’t know when to move on. Instead, you put band-aids over bullet holes to make it work, knowing damn well things won’t change for the better. How far do you think that will get you? Maybe down the street but not any farther so let me stop your in your tracks. It’s not healthy or cute for you to remain in circumstances that aren’t good for you.
If you are not happy in your current situation, it could be a mere stepping stone to your mountain of greatness and not moving on is hindering you from reaching the next step in your journey. (don’t let me start preaching). Moving on requires you to leave things behind, to say no, to put things to an end and we can’t be scared to do this.
As I move through my Year of No (You can read about it here), I’m also moving towards a better me. I’m on my own mission greatness and refuse to give energy to things that don’t add value. If it doesn’t add to my life, then I’m subtracting it out! (you got me started. Where’s my amen section?). The more I say no to unnecessary things, the easier it is to decide if a situation should be left behind. Examining what’s really going on and being aware of how it makes you feel is the first step.
You’re probably thinking, “So, that’s it. I’m just supposed to move on? It’s easier said than done Eboni.” Very true, but I wouldn’t tell you to do anything that I won’t do myself. So, put your big girl panties on and at the very least, think about taking a leap.
If you feel any or all of the things that I am about to share, then it may be time for you to get your exit strategy together. The important part is to know when moving on is necessary and then putting action behind it. But you have to do what’s best for you.
Depending on your situation, there are many telltale signs to know when it’s time to hit the road but here are 5 that apply to any. It’s time to move on when...
1. Everyday your face looks like the unamused emoji - Don’t get me wrong, everything is not rainbows and roses all of the time, but if your situation has you feeling unhappy, bitter, or in a funky mood, then it’s time to go. Like when you hate to get out of bed to go to work each morning. You walk in with the stink face and dare someone to even speak to you. Or if you have to listen to “I Need You Now” by Donnie McClurkin to mentally prepare yourself before you get our of your car.
2. You’ve found yourself on a one-way street - In any type of partnership, it has to be a give and take or win-win for both sides if it is to be fruitful and successful. You can’t be the only person who gives or sacrifices and you get nothing in return. Well, you could be but that would be called being used. The same with work, you can’t continue to do your best if there is no value for you - a raise, professional development or a more flexible schedule. A one-way street leads to a dead end road of resentment and anger. Reciprocity is necessary!
3. You have to ask, “What am I here for?” - If the effort that you put into a relationship seems as if it’s taken for granted, then what you have to give is better off with someone else who will appreciate it! People have to know that their presence or skills matter, that they are useful and meaningful.
4. You’re stressing and it’s messing with other areas of your life - When a relationship is depleting you, then it’s a problem. If it’s stressful to the point that it affects your physical health or causes you to go off on the people closest to you who aren’t even involved, then it’s a major problem. Your physical and mental health is waayyyyy too important. Life is a gift for you to enjoy. Move on to something better!
5. Your gut says so - If there is anything I know for sure, it’s to honor my intuition. (Look at me, sounding like Oprah. Lol). That feeling at the pit of your stomach is there for a reason to inform you that something isn’t right. It has never led me astray. If I get a gut feeling that it’s time to move on, then I’m movin’ on like Mya.
How do you know when it’s time to move on? I would love to know your thoughts! Leave a comment below.